Free PDF Rae: My True Story of Fear, Anxiety, and Social Phobia (Louder Than Words)
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Rae: My True Story of Fear, Anxiety, and Social Phobia (Louder Than Words)
Free PDF Rae: My True Story of Fear, Anxiety, and Social Phobia (Louder Than Words)
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About the Author
Chelsea Rae Swiggett is eighteen years old and will soon be heading to college to major in English and immerse herself even further into the world of books and writing. She currently serves on the Ypulse Youth Advisory Board. Visit her blog at http://thepageflipper.blogspot.com/.
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
THE CLICK OF MY VAN DOOR IS SIMILAR to the monotonous beeps of an alarm clock. You know how, after you've heard the same incessant noise day after day―always with the same dreaded awakening―you begin to cringe at the sound? That's what our van door, sliding open, does to me. It's the bugle of yet another school day. Since I'm totally into mythology, I'll relate how I feel about school by referencing a well-known tale of a fellow named Sisyphus who, for doing something punishable to the gods, was forced to push an extremely heavy boulder up a hill day after day. Once he got to the top, the boulder would roll back down and he'd have to start all over again. School is my boulder. And I have no idea what I did to piss off Zeus. I think it has less to do with school and more to do with the people occupying it. I'm, under no lesser terms, the opposite of a 'people person.' I'm a loner, and I like it that way. But humanity is kind of a nationwide epidemic, as any die-hard Buffy fan would quote, so I hobble myself down the sidewalk and into the glass doors of my high school. I walk down the halls, watching my admittedly ugly tennis shoes clomp themselves over shiny tiles. I try to stay on one line as I make my way to my locker and on to homeroom. When I get to my seat and classes start, the evaluation begins. You know how people say you are your own toughest critic? It's totally true. I zone out once the teacher starts talking, and the only thing I think about is how people view me. I check my breathing to make sure I can't be heard. I yank my shirt and pants so there's no way anyone can see an inch of me. I bite my lip and suffer through what I'm sure is just an assessment of how I look, cleverly disguised as 'Homeroom.' Everything comes down to how I act, too. I know I'm quiet, but I'd rather go unnoticed than say something wrong and be insulted for it. Right now, I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for my name to be called for attendance. Waiting, in dread, to speak out the word 'here.' When I quietly do, I wonder if I said it too silently or if my voice pitched awkwardly. Everyone starts talking in whispers while the rest of the attendance is called. I hear everything I'd ever want to know about X's party or A's concert. People always talk like nobody's listening in. It's not like I eavesdrop on purpose, but if someone's having a conversation right next to a ghost, that poor ghost can't help but pick up a few disjointed words. 'The football game was . . .' 'I can't believe she . . .' 'Were you at . . . ?' Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be someone else, like the girl two rows up and one seat over who had 'an awesome time' this weekend. If we somehow pulled a Freaky Friday with our minds, would life be easier? I'm not naive enough to think other people don't have problems . . . we all do. But I know it'd be nice to not care so much. To just let things go and be happy and carefree. I made a promise to myself that this year, my freshman year in high school, would be different. I moved from my last school in Berea to get a fresh start here at Avon Lake. I was done being labeled 'mute,' and I thought with a new school I could make myself over and be a new, outgoing person. As it turns out, it doesn't matter what school I'm at; I'm still chronically shy. While everyone else is busy talking like normal teenagers, I'm doodling. It's pretty depressing when someone who can't even draw a basic stick figure is resorting to 'art' just to busy herself. There are lumps of mashed potatoes where my clouds are supposed to be. The bell rings, and I'm five minutes closer to the end of the day. Welcome to my life. ©2010. Chelsea Rae Swigget. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Rae. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442
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Product details
Series: Louder Than Words
Paperback: 168 pages
Publisher: HCI Teens (August 2, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0757315275
ISBN-13: 978-0757315275
Product Dimensions:
5 x 0.5 x 7 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.8 out of 5 stars
12 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,149,297 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I bought this to help my 16 year old daughter who suffers from extreme Social Anxiety.Her anxiety was so bad last year during her first year of High School,that we decided to let her do online schooling this year.While I enjoyed reading the book,as many of the Author's struggles mirrored my daughter's,I wish the Author had talked about how she overcame her struggles.The book ended with her being Home Schooled,and then jumped into her being in College.It would have been nice for her to have outlined what type of help she received in order to be able to attend college.I enjoyed reading about her childhood,as it showed that my daughter is not alone but it didn't offer any suggestions with overcoming the crippling affects of social phobia.I really didn't gain any insight into helping my daughter
Very interesting and informative! Great lessons for teenagers! My 15 year old daughter is very inspired by what these girls went thru!
Bought this for my daughters, i wanted them to see that its not uncommon for teens to have social phobia and anxiety. I always call myself socially retarded. I read this too, and it brought back my own teenage years and how i felt. My 12 year old stayed up all night reading she liked it so much.
RAE is raw, real, and I'm truly grateful that Swiggett shared her story.As one of the newest additions to the Louder Than Words series of memoirs, RAE is definitely memorable and worthwhile to read. Rae is quiet and introverted outside of her comfort zone at home. She gets tongue-tied whenever she has to speak in class, forgetting the right answers in only seconds. She worries that everyone's watching every move she makes. Even her weight becomes something she struggles with. She's the girl who just might be faking sick at home, or maybe even ducking her head when you pass her in the halls...and she's completely real.RAE is one of those memoirs that I'm sure a lot people can relate with at one point or another. I knew by the time I finished reading the first chapter that RAE was eerily close to how I remember my high school experience. All those times when you think everyone is mocking you and your heart won't stop pounding, or when all the wrong words come out in a jumbled mess whenever you try to speak around people you aren't comfortable with, the fear that grips you sometimes, even when you know everything is okay...it's real, it happens, and it's nice to know that those of us who experience some of these moments are not alone.Highlights: I could relate with certain aspects of Swiggett's memoir. I remember those days in high school (I still can feel that way in class). I have to really praise Swiggett for taking a chance, being brave, and sharing her story. I know I really wish I had read something like RAE back when I was in high school.Lowlights: There were a few confusing moments. Yet, I couldn't stop reading until I finally finished the entire book. I couldn't tear myself away.RATING: 4.5 out of 5
Rae is a book that I hold really close to my heart. Not just because I adore Chelsea, but because I also suffered with severe anxiety in high school. The things that I always thought were just me, routines and antics that made me feel like the only person in the world with this problem, are put into far better words than I could ever come up with in Rae.This isn't really a story; it's more of a detailed explanation of her day-to-day life and how she handled living with her anxiety, but it still managed to capture me and keep me turning page after page. Chelsea is a phenomenal writer. She can go from writing a heart-wrenching description of her emotions to being quirky and sarcastic, but it works.I think this is a book that everyone should read, along with the other HCI Teen books. I can't even count all the times I've been told that I'm being ridiculous or stupid because of the limitations that my anxiety has put on my life. It's an incredibly tough thing to explain and I applaud Chelsea for being able to summarize just how difficult and mentally painful Anxiety can be. I want to buy a copy of this book and give it to anybody who has ever rolled their eyes at me, because, despite our differences dealing with Anxiety, it's still a wonderful depiction of how my head works.Overall, I loved this book and I can guarantee that I will be picking it up again and again in the future when I start to feel overwhelmed with myself. I definitely recommend this book to everyone! There's no romance or action or paranormal creatures, but it's still intense read that will raise awareness on Anxiety and leave it's mark on you for a long time.
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